GUESS WHO ORDERED A PIZZA
IM GONNA EAT THE WHOLE FUCKING PIZZA
i have made many mistakes in my life. i will be the first to admit that. like the time i did a handstand and knocked a hole in the wall. and the time i jumped off that fence adn tore my ankle. ive messed things up and fucked things up and forgotten my homework, my money, my phone, my shoes. i am the perfect image of messing things up. i mix up movie times and cause everyone to arrive thirty minutes late. im hardly on time. i open my mouth and say the stupedest things without thinking. i cant spell worth shit. i get crushes on people that i have absolutely -199999% chances of being with yet i cant stop the crush. i hurt myself. i hurt others. i say the wrong thing. i think the wrong thing. i do the wrong thing. i have messed up 89% of my life. but never have i made a mistake as big as eating this entire fucking pizza i thnk im gonna be sick oh my god call an ambulance
(via juusuya)#fav #querty
have you ever just
stopped whatever you were doing
to look at an english word and
“you look like a fake word”
When you accidentally fall asleep in an awkward position and wake up all numb
If you cloned yourself and then got a handjob from your clone, is that incest, homosexual, or masturbation?
its a sin thats what it is
I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this.